Þessar ömmur...

Lawyers  should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't  prepared for the answer.


In a trial, a Southern  small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a  grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and  asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do  know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and  frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat  on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind  their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains  to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper  pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing  what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones,  do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why  yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too.  He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a  normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the  worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife  with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know  him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge  asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet  voice, said,
 'If either of you  idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric  chair.'